Day Fourteen

We took some time off this morning, that is, we cleaned our house and got a few more minutes of sleep. Over night, Lara diligently performed lactation every three hours, specifically 2:00a and 5:00a. The cats and I seem to make her nervous, so I avoid being in the same room as she pumps. Typically, I herd the cats, and later clean the breast pump tools. Sometimes, she asks me to get some piece of equipment, a rag, or water. So occasionally, I’m as useful as collie.

This process typically takes 30 minutes or thereabouts, so it’s possible that we could collectively get a full three hours of sleep. I probably get two-and-a-half of those hours, because I’m me. Besides, this is all practice for when Jax arrives, no doubt. As he a fussy now, I presume he will be just as, or even more fussy, when he moves from the proverbial Ritz Carlton hospital to the Motel 6 where his parental units live. It will be a little less awkward with him at home, I’m sure.

I’d like to take a moment to thank you, dear readers. Your thoughts, prayers, and actions have made a difficult time a little easier. Some of you have just viewed this blog, text, called, or sent letters or baby gifts. Thank you. I’d also like to think my mom, Victoria Wilder. She old school called the hospital switchboard to call the room in which Lara and I were staying. Lara and I have no idea how this was possible or how I answered the landline phone, which had two receivers – like this was a thing. My mom also correctly determined that we would need our own set of cloth diapers as the diaper service Lara and I selected abruptly closed.

While I am throwing down thank you shoutouts like basketball dunks, I’d also like to thank Deborah Willig of set up a food train for us. She is kind, patient, and apparently a chef as she delivered what I can only call 4-star restaurant quality food last night. Thanks to Roseana Bess, who sent her husband Kwame James, to help me put in a car seat. It’s good to talk about what happened with a real live person and to take advice from the parents of two wonderful children. Also, thanks to Kimberly Daulton, who went food shopping for us and probably played with our cats.

Lara is plenty tired. This fatigue source is a combination of blood loss, delivery, and not getting solid night’s sleep are taking it’s toll. She talks about how all of her lady parts are screaming but she was lucky, you know, other than the hemorrhage. There was no vaginal tearing, which looks horrible. She does continue to bare other scars – a rash, IV injection site bruising, and she had a reaction to a heparin injections that cause more significant on the backs of her arms.

We learned that Jaxon is in good shape at the step down unit. He lost a little weight but his health is going in the right direction. He is a little longer than 41.5 cm or 16.3 inches and is now officially off jaundice treatment. He is taking his bottles and gaining energy each day. These are critical milestones in his development.

As mentioned, we can only see him one-at-a-time. Lara typically goes in first. The staff presumes that mothers are first, so who am I to question that? Besides, she has work to do. She will attempt to breastfeed him today, her first time doing so. Pooping is also important. Lucky for us, Jaxon has given us multiple opportunities during our visits to change his diaper. Both of us should have that opportunity today. Should I have time to spend with him today after his feeding, I’ll probably tell him the story of Lauryn Hill, who once made music so amazing, so impossible that she never made music again.

Jaxon is a very huggable burrito. I can’t tell if he warms me or I am him. As a being of light, a ray of starlight, I presume it’s he who radiate energy. I’ll assume it is he who warms me. I wait for him to acknowledge my presence so that I can ask him about the universe he just left and what he thinks about me and this larger world where he now exists. This is probably bonding, which is critically important for newborns. According to the University of California – Davis medical center, babies who are held and comforted when they need it during the first six months of life tend to be more secure and confident as toddlers and older children. Presumably, the bonding that Lara and I do now, will have untold benefits throughout his life. I’ll have to get better at it.

That said, we all know that Lara is much better at bonding. Given her injuries, she probably needs Jaxon’s light a little more than I do. Even if I have a couple of minutes, each second will have a purpose. Besides, it’s fine, we have all the time in the world.

That’s it for now. Thank you all for your support.